Wednesday, December 30, 2009

winds of change

Well i have been thinking a lot about 'change' lately. About the things i want to change. In my life, around me. And mostly because it is a feeling of disorientation. A mixture of being fascinated, excited awed and petrified. Yeah, that's right. Change confuses me and how. I spend too much time Contemplating change.


But it wasn't always like this. I can remember a time not too long back when change was something exciting and something I didn't think too much about. Moving to another city? Sure, new friends, new places. Changing schools? Yeah new quirky teachers. Moving out of home? Bring it on! Think of all the trouble I can get into. It's one of those things that has come with growing older. Right up there with worrying about money, the opposite sex and PMS.

I simply notice change more than I used to. And I feel wary of it. Not because I find the unknown any less exciting, but simply because I am painfully aware that the known is valuable too. I'm sure it also has a lot to do with me taking myself more seriously now than I did as a kid (And stupidly so). With thinking, that for some reason the choices I make right now are somehow more life-changing than the choices I made as a kid (Play now or Homework now?) Change is hard. And I wish it wasn't so. Well basically i am confused, and i need to change this confusion into something fruitful. I want to go back to anywhere in this world except this tinsel town. I do not hate this place. Its just that i miss something here. That something is a BIG chunk of LIFE. I guess i am pretty too much confused, i realize if it was not this place, i would have never learnt the lessons of life, ever made friends like R,P&H. My pillars of strength.

I would have never grown up. Never would have made any decisions on my own. After all 'Talli ram' n all would have been there to mold my life. Living in this tinsel town has made me what i am, an I LOVE BEING THAT.

Change is not easy!!! Neh!! not at all

2 comments:

  1. This is what u actually need,, Confusion will be there,, But solution is there as well.. Let me knw when those changes r there... & if u still have the confusion u knw what needs to be done.

    Nilay

    ReplyDelete
  2. yea now i knw...CALL YOU...lol
    Thnks 4 reading!! never thought you atually would

    ReplyDelete

Why I write this ?

so you finally want to know. Well very often I have a writer's block. I am over burdened by my own thoughts. Sometimes i do take the pain of puttin them up, mostly i do not. This is a peek-a-Boo of what i see, what i feel and what i want you to know. Bear with me! Happy reading!