Skip to main content

winds of change

Well i have been thinking a lot about 'change' lately. About the things i want to change. In my life, around me. And mostly because it is a feeling of disorientation. A mixture of being fascinated, excited awed and petrified. Yeah, that's right. Change confuses me and how. I spend too much time Contemplating change.


But it wasn't always like this. I can remember a time not too long back when change was something exciting and something I didn't think too much about. Moving to another city? Sure, new friends, new places. Changing schools? Yeah new quirky teachers. Moving out of home? Bring it on! Think of all the trouble I can get into. It's one of those things that has come with growing older. Right up there with worrying about money, the opposite sex and PMS.

I simply notice change more than I used to. And I feel wary of it. Not because I find the unknown any less exciting, but simply because I am painfully aware that the known is valuable too. I'm sure it also has a lot to do with me taking myself more seriously now than I did as a kid (And stupidly so). With thinking, that for some reason the choices I make right now are somehow more life-changing than the choices I made as a kid (Play now or Homework now?) Change is hard. And I wish it wasn't so. Well basically i am confused, and i need to change this confusion into something fruitful. I want to go back to anywhere in this world except this tinsel town. I do not hate this place. Its just that i miss something here. That something is a BIG chunk of LIFE. I guess i am pretty too much confused, i realize if it was not this place, i would have never learnt the lessons of life, ever made friends like R,P&H. My pillars of strength.

I would have never grown up. Never would have made any decisions on my own. After all 'Talli ram' n all would have been there to mold my life. Living in this tinsel town has made me what i am, an I LOVE BEING THAT.

Change is not easy!!! Neh!! not at all

Labels:

Comments

  1. NILAYDecember 31, 2009 at 6:37 AM

    This is what u actually need,, Confusion will be there,, But solution is there as well.. Let me knw when those changes r there... & if u still have the confusion u knw what needs to be done.

    Nilay

    ReplyDelete
  2. kajoriDecember 31, 2009 at 6:17 PM

    yea now i knw...CALL YOU...lol
    Thnks 4 reading!! never thought you atually would

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Where are you from?

"Strange stuffs happen all around you, and only if you had that one moment to stop and notice it.....then whaatt , you'd be a BLOGGER then" :p Yesterday the age old question again popped up from an oh-so-handsome(wish he didn't have a girlfriend) guy sitting opposite to me in the Jamnagar-Surat Intercity Express, (Indian Railways should give me discount coupons now!), while his girlfriend sat beside him grumbling about the quality of air-conditioning in Indian trains and the lousy platform junk food (do not blame me, it was her! I love having bhajiyas at the baroda station when I am travelling with my roommate or someone else).               Alright, here i wander away again. That is my new 'beemaarri'. I start with something, i drift away to something and end up with something else which has nearly no connection with what i started with. My friend Arihant thinks I need to consult a ...
9 comments
Read more

On writer's block and PMS.....

I have been staring at this screen for the last one hour and using the delete button more than I ever have. It's simply never happened before. Words never fail me. I usually have a million things to say and the words always flow through. Not these days. I tried more than once to write for the new year, but all in vain. I have 42 draft posts. (*ahhh....so its not that i didn't try, i just couldn't) I have a million things swimming in my head right now but the words just refuse to form. Maybe it's because I dont have one or two things to say. As I said, I have a million things. I am rambling now. Another first. So well, This post won't be the most brilliant thing ever. It's ok. I'll live. I'll settle for mediocrity, just this once. I don't know why but i have been dying to shoot out this since last few times. It is silly. I confess it is. But darn true. I just got a sms from a buddy(KV) asking coulnt i get a better theme to write on rel...
17 comments
Read more

Worldly Woes!

I wanted to tell you that how my life is full of random moments. Why? because it's a better thing to start than saying "yes! I am back again" Yet again .  Well, it doesn't take the wits of a rocket scientist to figure out that this blog has been dysfunctional for quite some time now - very much close to FIVE months. And I have no idea why did I stop scribbling on this blog and when? It just happened. Like falling out of love. Somewhere it felt like a chore and I grudgingly dragged my feet along. all so much so that I did keep up the charade of constantly reminding myself that such a space existed and my regular readers (yes! you can laugh to that) would be missing me. With time, washed away many disillusions, for no one actually missed my constant banter.  That is what pushed this space into an existential crisis and I had no time to figure out answer to any of the questions it asked.  Now that I have explained well about my absence, does this cou...
9 comments
Read more