FullOn Femme Family drama

My Dida (read:grandma) and Ma were having major gripes ever since I disappeared one Saturday afternoon ages ago and got my traces cut "all by myself". And I entered the house with such a show and pomp with my new short haircut and red highlights(which any human with normal vision could not even see). But my mother being her, actually claimed that all my hair has gone red, and that I was a 'red-head'.

 Ever since then every time I get a haircut, I lose interest in the first one week and I die to get another one, despite the sucking hair growth since the last 4 years.  There were times I would get tummy twangs watching my hair grow and would run for a haircut every 15 days. I still crib about having a haircut every month, thankfully my roommate successfully can hold me back. Now thats the Quirky me!

Cut to dida and Ma:  Anything that happens, my recent haircut is blamed. Even if I get a toothache, they manage to find ways to connect to the haircut. the stomach aches are caused by the haircut too and even the visit to the optician is only because "you got that awful haircut na, with those bang stuff, thats what has damaged your eyes"  

A few days ago, I proudly announced that my hair fall has considerably come down, since my brush came out pretty clean, unlike before when I suffered a lot due to weather changes and relocation of cities. (disturbing, I know)

"chul thaakle na podbe" guffawed my grandmother.

(Only if there is hair, there can be hairfall)

To which, my best friend's mother joins in, "Shotti to mashima, ei jodi cholte thaake, thaole to master's korte korte shob chul uthe jaabe"

(Aunty, you are so right. If its like this, she'll be bald by the time she'll be done with her masters)

My mother who was a silent spectator till this point, chides in " Tahole biyer shomoye ki ekta o chul thaakbe na?"

( Oh! so when she gets married, she won't have a single hair left?)

"Orokhom bolish na Maanu! ki kore chele khujbo erokhom naatnir jonne?"

(Don't say stuff like that Maanu(thats what Ma is called at home)! How will I find a suitable boy for such a grand daughter?) exclaims my grandma, a woman in her 80's who once told me not to listen to my paternal grandmother if she ever asked me to marry a boy of her choice and also to deny the idea of marriage if I was younger than 30, whichever comes first.

I was trying to figure out my response, when my mother responded "Bojhaao tomaar naatni ke "

(Make your grand daughter understand!)

All three could sense where it was going, and were taking immense pleasure at pulling my leg.

Dida replied "Arre or kono Buddhist- woodhist er shonge biye koriye dile-ei to holo. Niye jaabe tibet-wibet. Ora to shobaai naira matha, taakloo to shob gulo-ei. Bangali na holeo cholbe. No caste, no bar!"

(Arre why don't we hitch her to one of those Buddhist-woodhist. Will take to Tibet-wibet. They are all anyways bald, all among them are baldheaded. Its completely alright if he's not a bengali. No caste, no bar!"