An hour ago a good friend 'S' was talking to me about this phenomenon called the Midnight Blah! (Now don't Google search, you may land in a thatch of no hay.) It is what happens to you sometime late after midnight, after you have played several games of Angry Birds, read the funnies and the news in many a e-papers, glanced through a few blogs, of course stalked each of those hot faces on Facebook, scanned your instant messenger and done everything possible to keep yourself occupied in the marked absence of real world.
Today, one of many such nights, writer that I claim to be, I am venting my angst against boredom by writing about it. Please forgive me. To this you would be happy to hear, the friends i was praising yesterday, one of them said I should write anonymously because I am not fit to live and write simultaneously in this world. Like, I never knew that!
There is something tragic about boredom. I mean, there are tons of other things you could be doing, but you involuntarily happen to suffer from boredom instead. Well, if you take my case I deliberately choose to get bored so as to not work. but well, that's just me! You are a nice person.
Animals, you see, don't suffer from boredom very often. Take street dogs for instance, they'd piddle around the lamp-post , marking their territories around twenty three times a day and not get bored. They bark and bare their canines at anybody remotely suspicious, like the watchman or 'you' returning home after a drunk soiree'. They stand fixated at a spot, panting profusely to anybody saying "Good doggy! nice doggy!". Also they can sniff anything interesting nether regions that happen to pass in a ten mile radius, species no bar. When nothing else is around that can put them in action, they doze off. And when faced with an absolute lack of doing any such important tasks, they wag their tails.
The tail. Damn the evolution. Losing the tail was a bad move, bad bad move. Of everything else, think of the possibilities in terms of fashion (oh! you must get the red highlights done, its totally in this season) or health (Your tail's looking a bit peaky, Mrs. Sharma, go easy on those lumbar moves).
And especially to mention Gender Politics.
No more the nasty games of she loves me-she loves me not. Of course she loves you, can't you see her tail wagging like there is no tomorrow, you jackass? Oh you have no interest in me? Then why does your tail make thud-marks on the chair every time I glance at you, mister? Also we'd save the lives of a thousand daisies every year. Conservation. Not to mention we can do away with the ugly stain on the face of romance, The Love Guru. I mean, who needs a courtship counselor when you know she has hots for you anyway? A better sanguine will spring for the coy. There can be no hell this way, because there will be no woman scorned at. No more cases of unrequited love. Can you imagine? (Yes, there will be a few psychos always but a quick bend of the tail can push him/her off you)
No more awkward pauses, let them wag and the silence suddenly turns comfortable. If you can, then imagine the level of domestic peace- couples with each other, wagging their tails lazily in the homely tableau. Oh, of course there will be competition. Men will want the big ones, women the slim and shapely ones. There will be a whole new range of stylists required- for length enhancing, tail conditioning, botox and implants for the less endowed. The list is endless. Not to mention, also boring.
And so, for my coup de grace. Boredom breeds boredom. Everywhere. Anywhere. Get out while you can, at least try to. Unless you are too bored to.
Don't forget the puppy eyes :)
ReplyDeletePeace would prevail if only the leaders of the world could get all puppy-eyed with each other!